hello verbal zoo fans. i know it's been ages but i have no apologies for any of you. sorry...
anyway, here i am trying to become creative again. i haven't done much of anything creative for a long while. actually, i procrastinated on even entering this blog. it's just a blog entry for goodness sake. it doesn't even have to say much of anything. here's some things i've been thinking about...
passports...i received my passport in the mail last week. i look like george hamilton. it's a little off putting. actually, it doesn't even look like me. it looks like george hamilton. maybe it's more of a kramer after falling asleep in the tanning bed...
phones & toilets...for the second time i lost a phone to the porcelin god. this time it was a little more expensive than the last. however, i didn't need a plumber this time. i did need to bio-hazard myself since i dove head first into a toilet full of pee to retrieve the beloved iphone. it was too late. r.i.p. i got a new one, plus i've made friends and family work for me with my rosey from work. we are now friends and family using our iphones for $50 a month! moral: iphone is not allowed in the bathroom. ever.
chicks...well, i'm finally feeling confident and sassy again and am contemplating being more social. you're probably thinking, "oh, it's bear, she'll never follow through on that one!" but that's the old bear. the new bear initiated conversation with hot woman (clearly gay! 1 for me!) at 5Q bar. ended up she has a girl, but ahhhh, it felt nice. thank you hot chick at 5Q bar in sweater vest.
what i want...i want to start getting what i want. for real. i wonder why i don't think i deserve the things i want? i'm standing in my own way of asking for what i want. being brutally honest with myself. it's weird. i've been in therapy for over 10 years and i'm finally willing to look at it. it's unbelievably powerful. some things i want: i want to travel. i want to not be afraid to do so. i start in december to belize. next? amsterdam. i want to be in love. i want to be loved. i want to be creative. i want to be the best i can be in my job. i want to explore another language. i want to learn to play the guitar. i want a pet that doesn't growl at me. i want to make more trips to california to see my neice in her dances and my nephews as they grow into their teens. i can't miss that. it means too much to me. i want health insurance for myself to keep myself healthy. I WANT I WANT I WANT!!! it seems so selfish but i deserve it.
how...good question. i suppose i need to find the fringe of my comfort zone. find it and challenge it. know that when i do challenge it and find a new outcome i will only be better. i will be a better sister, daughter, auntie, friend, partner. it's kind of thrilling. perhaps i'm hitting my mid-life crisis early. awesome. i'm young enough to accept the challenge - BRING IT!
trailblazers...the portland trailblazers are starting to bring it together. the addition of andre miller, the insertion of greg oden into the starting lineup and nic batuum going out with an ankle injury and a recovered martell webster in his place is all new. it's like an all new team. there is so much talent even charles barkley can't believe it! when yr second unit consists of travis outlaw, joel przybilla and martell up front and jarryd bayless and rudy fernandez in the backcourt; other teams need to start figuring out how their second units are going to denfend a lineup that could easily start in many markets. the starting lineup of lamarcus (we love LA!) and GO up front and an interesting choice of 3 guards, b.roy, andre and steve blake is exciting and fast. even GO ran the floor the other night with lamarcus. greg
dribbled down the court and lobbed to LA for a dunk! the smile on his face afterwards was consolation that i didn't see it live and at home! anthony and i are in for an amazing turning point season for the portland trailblazers! vote for LA to get to dallas for the all-stars this year. he deserves it and i know he'd love to go home to dallas!
gossip...saw the gossip about 3 weeks ago at the wonder ballroom. beth came in for lunch, of course, and for the first time in a while i didn't make a complete ass of myself. i welcomed her home (they've been on tour for months) and told her how excited i was for the new record and the show. she is so rad. she invited all of rsq employees plus 1 friend into the show for free. that was so cool of her. she was humbled as she saw we made a special cocktail in her honor and that we told her the show was sold out. she was shocked. the show itself was awesome. most of working rsq showed up - pilar, alison, mike, me, jenn, johna, julia t, erica, her friends and emilio. beth rocked it out. she was coming off a cold so she couldn't hit any high ones but didn't let it keep her from being that front woman that makes the gossip who they are. the "what's love got to do with it" cover was so sweet. i hope that gets released somewhere. i want it. the band was tight as tight could be. seeing a band in the middle of their tour is the best. they are in sync and they still like each other. thanks beth and the gossip. my ears rang from a show for the first time in a while.
done...
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