a.i.s.f.

this was the worst of the auditions. only 12 through. they only showed a couple of the good singers, and even they weren't that great. this entry blows. i blame it on a.i.

...

this [longest pause ever] is american idol!

paula gone wild with the bedazzler!

tatiana, girl from puerto rico a plant? thoughts.
"if i have to outsing everyone, one by one, on the planet to get a record deal i will ... and i have."
of course paula likes her - she's crazy. like paula.

"the coat"

what about jesus? the kids helped. i think if he just sang instead of all those vocal gymnastics, we'd get somewhere.
cara, you're a sucker, but my crush lives on!

stick to the rubik's cube, dawg.

cara: give her your passion.
randy: she wants your baby.
[paula's face: priceless]

[fringe is still on?]

where are all the good singers? sf sucks! it's halfway through and it's been all sucky people. this has been the worst episode yet. plus, simon isn't quite as cheeky as usual.

people are just a little bit crazy aren't they? this woman, akilah from the o-town hood, is just not playing with a full deck. is she on drugs?
"i wanna sing the same song over i sang it in the wrong rectum."
wow. paula had to leave the room.
"they made me sound like one of those auditioners who couldn't sing."

uh-oh. please don't let tonight's splicer be "bohemian rhapsody." please. i don't think i could take it.

just a 1 minute montage of 3 people going to hollywood? come on, simon fuller.

adam might be cute enough to make it past the hollywood round.

they saved the sob story for last tonight. i can't decide if a mother's illness trumps that guy who's wife died. let's see how good he is. not bad. he's gonna have to step it up for the hollywood round.

no splicer tonight.

only 12 go through to hollywood. sf you suck.

tomorrow night, louisville.

simonisms...

• tatiana: i have a gift for you. simon: yes!
• are these quite naughty?
• she didn't get through on her vocals
• it was really really boring and i hate what you're wearing.
• the song is horrible, not you.
• ...too many parts of the body we don't want to know about.
• annie i'm gonna be honest with you. it was like you were drunk...i'm not talking 1 or 2 bottles. i'm talking a crate.