Friday, March 26, 2010


“Proposition 8 changed (things). Really for the first time in my life, I felt like I knew what it was like to feel discrimination and hatred. I felt less-than. I felt like my government was telling me that I wasn’t as important as everyone else and that I didn’t deserve the same rights and freedoms. I found myself having discussions with so-called liberal people about the word ‘marriage’ and I discovered that my expectation at being considered equal and wanting to be treated as such was extreme. So I started talking. I talked about injustice and inequality wherever I could. I shared private details of my life with Ellen to make a point and I talked about my frustration that a basic human right could be taken away by a majority vote. I developed a knack for turning any question into a discussion about gay marriage. ... And I won’t stop talking until equality is achieved and there’s nothing left to talk about.”

Portia de Rossi at the Human Rights Campaign’s Los Angeles Hero Awards Dinner, March 14, as transcribed by

Saturday, March 13, 2010


how come happiness comes in "waves"?
and then, just like a wave it goes away again.
then, it fucking has the decency to show it's face again.
and it's elation again.
then it's just a fucking bummer again.
why can't happiness come in something contained.
in a sealed off tank where it couldn't get out.
i wanna capture it and seal it off.
cause it feels so good - even the memory of it.
happiness that makes me smile.
feel something.
happiness that makes me just want to cry.
i can't seem to hang on to it, however.
it's like i have to be so aware of it to feel it.
why can't i just feel it like everyone else does.
how come it doesn't come naturally to me?
so many wonderful things in my life now.
it shouldn't be so complicated.

i think this all may be the result of too much therapy, for gods sake! oh and pms. i do feel all that and i'm glad i let the stream in my head out. not getting it out is how i start my cycle. it's an ugly cycle and i don't like caryn stuck in that cycle.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

andre dunks ... watch it

a playlist

[just like old times...]

i hadn't done a playlist for a while and i'd been listening to this one for some time now.

'are you experienced' ... belly [i love this cover]
're stacks' ... bon iver [my co-worker michael told me to listen to these guys]
'you can do better than me ' ... death cab for cutie [i put this on my playlist because the title is awesome - so's the song]
'furr' ... blitzen trapper
'say that you'll do it' ... at dusk [got this from the library - i liked the cover]
'life & times' ... bob mould [from daytrotter sessions - awesome]
'this tornado loves you' ... neko case [this song has been in heavy rotation for some time now - i can't seem to tire of it]
'carbon' ... tori amos [i love this gem from the underrated "scarlet's walk"]
'man-size' & 'perfect day elise' ... pj harvey [had to have pj]
'i feel it' ... feist
'loved you all along' ... la strada [another band i discovered on daytrotter]
'acid tongue' ... jenny lewis [into this record right now]
'one' ... cowboy junkies [i think a beautiful cover of this song]
'heavy cross' ... the gossip [i didn't dig this song to begin with - it's grown on me quite a bit]
'girls just wanna have fun' ... starfucker [fun cover]
'fuck was i' ... jenny owens young [her version of 'hot in herre' is really amazing - watch out for the big stuffed animals]
'you're so vain' ... carly simon [daytrotter version - greatly updated and like new]