here ya go patty!

i've received a couple of comments about this part of the show. i agree that it's completely asinine. because these idiots come on thinking they can sing (or are planted there...you know it's true) it forces the judges to say the meanest things. you know what simon says you all agree with - it's just that he doesn't have a filter. supposedly they are making this part shorter and the hollywood part longer. also, they are bringing back the "wild card" - where each judge gets to bring back one eliminated contestent. i want to say they stopped that in the third season or so. this is fun so, i'll see you next week!

kansas city here we come!

will they ever give up the lame beginning? at least some of the faces are real now and not that creepy thing they had going before.

kansas city: home of last year's winner, david cook.

lime green babydoll, paula? really?

surrender the fantasy, chelsea. no bueno. ouch. stop. really. stop. please.

simon is absolutely smitten by casey! he can't stop smiling...

i already see a couple of people who will be "spliced in" tonight! i wonder what the big number will be?

the crying segment is genius! i loved every minute of it. come on, sister? patty? come on! i think i'm gonna watch it again!

castro's punk rock brother? thoughts?

"do you want a banana?"

jasmine "jazz. it's pretty much my name" joseph. i'm wondering if i need to elaborate?

i think 'over the rainbow' will be the splicer tonight.

"these are my crazy pills" that 93 year old woman was the star of this show.

i'm calling right now that jessica furney and the punk-y castro brother will make the top 12 or whatever.

"we're rappers." "why you try to steal my cookie from me" india dragged her sister, asia, to american idol because she knew she was good. asia made it. india didn't. sisterly love is awesome.

[cool. joss whedon's "dollhouse" is finally starting on february 13!]

oh. my. god. they are playing neko case's "train from kansas city"! neko. no. this is a sad day.

the sob story is sad, but this guy better be good. they don't care about the grief if you suck. uh-oh. music teacher. wow! me likey! i might have to add danny to that list with punk-y castro and jessica. that story will carry him to the top 12.

anoop-dog! hollaaaaaa! who woulda thought? "you got some crazy vocals jumpin off there!" - randy

rats! tonight's splicer, "sign, sealed, delivered"

andrew's cheerleaders were hysterical. those splits? eek! andrew singing "my girl" was, well, sort of hilarious. he's so gay!

i like asa barnes. he's so cute. he has a good aura. i like cara too. she's lookin' hot tonight in kansas city!

i can't watch the retarded guy - but i'm glad i saw simon's reaction to him when he walked in the room! was he a plant? thoughts?

why do people insist on continuing to sing after they tell them it sucks? why?

dennis. what about dennis? cara really likes him. i'm not sure. i don't think he'll make it past this first round. dennis' weave is growing out. time to cut that shit out dennis! tyra would be apalled.

they always save the best - er, worst - for last. mia conley. yep. she sucks. you know she's gonna cause a scene. she's still mumbling the song...stop - woa! no, stop. mia. girl. "god's gonna get you!" what does that mean?

wait, maybe they did save the best for last. lil rounds. yep. put her on the list. probably the best. she sounds like mary j. let's get crunk! randy agrees with me! i said it first, randy! i really like her. i loved the way her husband looked at her. very sweet.

some of my favorite simon-isms tonight:

you're a singing ryan seacrest aren't you?

let's just say goodbye

josh grobin? honestly brian

contestent: "can i try it again?" simon: "no"

well, let's just change blind to death and that song would make a lot of sense

not happy at all

it was terrible

it's a sorta bit geeky at the moment

it's like swimming in jello

no. no. no.

let's be clear. the first records you bought were paula's, yeah?

next stop: 6 more cities including new york and san francisco. see you then. cara? will you marry me?