oh, did i tell you i'm going to belize?

so, because i am cruel i thought i would show you the view and inside the cutest cabana on caye caulker. who'll be the lucky bitch staying there? yep, you guessed it. hi, i'm lucky bitch and you are... oh my god. i look at this place every day and saving as much money as humanly possible. this week was not good for saving as we were closed monday for memorial day and i couldn't work last night due to a strained groin. see story of my first softball game below. the bbq is chockers almost every night and day so i'm totally working my ass off to be pleasant to EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER. even the crazy guy john who rush made me talk to. um, caryn, can you help me? rush's arm is in a sling from a hairline fracture in her clavicle, so i didn't think anything of this request. what's up rush? what can the bear do for you? she walked by me and said could you help the guy at the door? i can't understand him. i thought sure, no big whoop. i turn around and see the guy almost asleep on the hostess stand. great. what do we have here? sir, can i help you with something? he pulls his smelly head off the hostess stand and says something like i [inaudible] to go [inaudible]... quizzical looks crosses your hero's face. i'm sorry, do you have a to go order or do you want a to go order? john finally is fully upright and slurs there were kids running here and i want you to go to every table and see who has my to go order - 3 saran wraps. if my face could have gotten more quizzical, it just did. oookaaay...we didn't steal your lunch, i promise. he interrupts those kids stole my lunch and i want to go to every table to get it back! well...sir, i will not. i don't know what to tell you about your lunch but if you want to buy something, with money, you may. otherwise, you'll have to go. okay? he wouldn't let it go. he starts toward table 7, which is occupied like every other table at the peak of lunch time. then i'm going to do it. out of the corner of my eye i saw a young man watching the exchange so i felt bold enough to put my hand out and step in front of him. no you will not. i'm going to ask one more time for you to go and then i'm going to call the police. he left very slowly mumbling about his stolen lunch. i looked at rush and she had a bit of a sheepish grin and she said, thanks caryn. that was good. i smiled because rush is so damn cute and sweet that i said that's how you handle a mumbler like that, rush. learn from the master and one day, grasshopper, you too will be tossing out the john's of the world. i will take you under my wing and together we will go to all of the restaurants in north portland tossing out all the johns. we'll have a signal when we're needed - like batman and robin. [i'll be batman.] the commissioner will shine it into the night sky and - whoa. none of that happened. well, i did tell her that's how you toss out a mumbler like that. don't let them know your afraid of them. in fact, don't be afraid of them. most of them are just drunk or stoned out of their minds on something. it's sort of a sad situation, really. john was probably, on some level, just hungry and smelled bbq outside the door. i always tell the girls that if they are having any problems i don't have a problem asking people to leave. remind me to tell you the story of the time a guy got a water glass smashed in his face. i actually don't even have time to tell you about my softball groin injury. when i get home from my catering hours i'll tell the story. i'm feeling in a story-telling mood.
oh, did i tell you i'm going to belize?

p.s. i can't get enough of meds and sleeping with ghosts by placebo. literally, it's the only thing i want to hear. love it. i'm going to buy more placebo. you should too.