pet peeves: part deux!

my pushy co-worker, lesley, [holla!] passed me a note in study hall that said the following...new blog idea: similarities between mary* and donald duck. i didn't know what it means [honestly, i still don't!] but i surely thought it was funny. i actually missed someones sides on a to-go order over the phone because i was writing down other ideas for blog entries. i wrote down mac and cheese but i didn't write down the second. i got the bread order though. i think they ordered potato salad. i tried to explain to lesley why she had to ask that person what the sides were when they came to pick it up. she looked at me like i was crazy. [she looks at me like that a lot. we're going to have to talk about this,] i told her it was because i was writing down more blog ideas. the one that got me in trouble was please have everyone's order before you call the restaurant for a to-go order. below are the ones we came up with today. enjoy!
*name changed to protect the innocent.

similarities between mary & donald duck
i'm not sure what i can really say about this. mary is a customer that comes in almost every day. you read it right folks. every day. it started out nice, became annoying, and has come full circle back to flattering. the only problem with mary is that she has hideous style and the longest rat tail known to man. my oh my people. i know this thing doesn't have anything to do with donald duck, but i don't care - i must vent. this thing is an entity unto itself. i'll never forget the day that diane walked up behind mary grabbed the rat tail and said one of these days i'm just going HACK THIS THING OFF! it ruled. i'll never forget it. mary also puts ketchup on her pulled pork sandwich no slaw. i know all her orders. the formally mentioned sandwich is accompanied by fries. do NOT bring the cajun mayo. she'll make you take it away. the chop salad - sub chicken, no beans, no cheese, no onions [pretty much everything in the salad!], no bread. every now and then she'll bust out a sausage link sandwich, no bread and fries. i asked mary why she won't have any of those things in her salad and she said the doctor told her she was overweight. uh, first of all, she's not. second, if she eliminated the dressing, or put it on the side, she wouldn't have to lose the other items. no, that's crazy talk! ok. that's enough of that. i don't know any similarities between mary and donald duck. [lesley, if you know what they are, post it here or GET YR OWN FREAKIN' BLOG!]
know what you want to order before calling the restaurant for a to-go order
some people call the restaurant expecting the person on the other side to read the menu for them. seriously people. the person on the other side does not have time to go over the entire menu with you. we are too busy. go to the website to check out the menu. then call. oh, and make sure you know what everyone wants before calling too. this is the conversation i had that caused me to miss that second side. hello, caryn speaking yeah, i'd like to place an order to go. great. sock it to me. [deep sigh] ok, are you ready? yep. [apparently the sock it to me part was overlooked.] so she rambles off the first 2 orders like a pro. then she gets to the last one and this is what i hear on the other end...JIMMY? WHAT KIND OF SAUCE DO YOU WANT? medium. and the sides? JIMMY! WHAT SIDES DO YOU WANT? macaroni & cheese and [what i thought i heard] potato salad [or pot salad as we label the boxes.] cornbread or toast? JIMMY! CORNBREAD OR TOAST? cornbread. is that it? [please let that be it - my earball is killing me from trying to drag out of jimmy what sauce and sides he wanted!] yeah, that's it. oh, thank god i said to myself. ok see you in 15 minutes. ok. we hung up. this is when i realized i had completely spaced on what his second side was. lesley, what was it? was is potato salad? this is a daily occurrence. take more than 10 seconds to decide what you want to eat. why is everyone in such a big hurry? i don't get it. people get irritated when you won't read the menu to them over the phone. hey, i've got 9 tables looking at me going, uh, we need more sweet tea over here. that's when you say can you hold please? thank you. LESLEY you have a call on park 1 and run like hell.
"hotboxing" chicks.
ok. there was a guy who came in today acting like a total douche. he told lesley that he was meeting 2 chicks and he was going to "hotbox" them. now, i've been around, and "hotboxing" means one thing, and one thing only, to me. the confusion was overwhelming. what does that mean? to quote ellen degeneres, you heteros are weird. seriously. what is that about? "hotboxing" is what spicoli and his buddies did right before they stumbled out of the van in the parking lot of all american burger [no shirt, no shoes, no dice!] come on people, everyone knows that. why would a man say that to a hostess taking you to the table with said "chicks" for "hotboxing." boys are dumb. [lesley, i don't know if you saw but that man ended up wearing a bib. i thought it amusing. hotboxing. please.]
side by side seaters
i have a real problem with this. i don't understand side by siders. why on god's green earth would you want to sit directly next to somebody in a restaurant where you're tyring to have conversation? and, i want to see all hands on deck. hands in clear view. no touching the knee under the tablecloth. no nuzzling your partners neck. no going into the men's room together. don't feed each other. this is a family restaurant folks. keep that in mind.

i don't have it in me to talk about my last pet peeve, sliced beef. i'll save it for another night. it's late now and i have to treat the beast and go to sleep. [i just re-read that sentence and it sounds, well, not so good. treat the beast means giving scully her nightly treats of cat nip and kitty treats. get your minds out people!]
lesley, i think i'm going to make you a lable so people can go right to lelsey posts.