a story of shingles - act I

[interior doctor's office. caryn is standing in the middle of the room reading a paper. she is wearing a hospital gown, open in the back. doctor enters stage left.]
doctor: are you decent?
caryn: yes.
doctor: what is the cause of your visit today?
[caryn turns around]
doctor: oh, girl, you got shingles!
caryn: damn, i knew it! that sucks.
doctor: indeed.
caryn: is this contagious? i'm going on vacation in three days and i don't want to pass it to my family or the entire population of disneyland.
doctor: well, they would have to touch your rash directly. and i must tell you, it's going to be very uncomfortable. sorry.
caryn: well, ok. shall i keep it covered?
doctor: well, it would be hard to keep it covered but you can gauze it if you'd like. it might be hard for you given it's in the middle of your back. most women with shingles on their back tend to just not wear a bra during this time.
caryn: HA! are you kidding? these might hurt someone.
doctor: HA! ok, how about a sports bra.
caryn: yeah, i could do that. however, getting in on and off might be a challenge and very painful.
doctor: is there any way you could be pregnant?
caryn: uh, ha...no.
doctor: ok, because the baby inside could be affected. would you like me to pop one of the blisters to take a culture? [caryn's bug eyes and shiver prompt him to say..] most say it doesn't hurt because it's above the nerve endings. they are going to pop open and ooze puss eventually.
caryn: uh, is this absolutely necessary right now? you hollered shingles the second i turned around.
doctor: well, not really. some really like to have proof of their illnesses. however, it seemed as if you knew what you had right away.
caryn: yeah, i'm gonna pass on that blister popping thing.
doctor: okee dokee. let's talk drugs. percocet for the pain, acyclovir and a steriod for the inflammation. ok?
caryn: um, ok. thank you.
[lights down]